The Importance of Connection
I’m delighted to share this guest post from Colette Dalton. Colette (she/her) is an LCSW/therapist contracted with Symmetry Solutions. She is a later-in-life lesbian who grew up super Mormon and now loves working with individuals going through faith journeys and who are exploring their sexuality. She also co-hosts the podcast Called to Queer. You can connect with her on Instagram @ColetteDalton or on Facebook @ColetteDaltonLCSW.
My hands gripped the steering wheel of my car for dear life, trying to breathe. I looked at the Provo City Center Temple across the street and wondered what on earth I was doing.
I was supposed to be meeting up with a woman I recently met so I wouldn’t have to show up to a lesbian support group by myself, but she had to back out last minute. Did I really want to go in? Especially by myself?
I opened my car door and stood on the pavement, then quickly swiveled around and sat in the driver’s seat once again, shutting the car door. My pulse was racing and there was no way I saw myself being able to go inside by myself. Continuing to breathe, I waited a few more minutes, then stepped out of my car again, determined to make it further.
This time, I made it in the building and up the stairs and joined the group. I spilled my guts, cried, and ended up going week after week.
The women I met in the group were a balm to my soul. Building relationships with other queer individuals, especially with other queer women and genderqueer folks, is truly one of the things that kept me alive during some very dark times. Wrestling with my spiritual beliefs and my sexuality felt so hard and isolating. But surrounding myself with others made me feel less alone and gave me strength to move forward on this life path I found myself on.
As I meet with queer clients now, I often explore the idea of community with them. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and open up to others so that you can connect with them. It’s scary and it doesn’t always work out. But human beings are social creatures, and we need connection just like we need food, water, and shelter. Whether that connection comes from in-person groups, virtual groups or servers, conferences, retreats, e-mail listservs, social media, podcasts, or even reading books like Meghan’s, I know how important it is to make that connection to realize you’re not alone. You can learn from others’ experiences as you navigate your own path in life. You can gain support and solidarity from those around you. You can see that there is hope and happiness as you see those around you grasp it and live in it.
There is so much good to be found in connection. Reach out. Find your people. Don’t isolate. Life is so much better when we’re walking alongside others on our journeys.
